tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-130593962011-04-21T13:13:49.048-07:00<img src=http://photos5.flickr.com/5533328_307a304037_m.jpg>Originally this blog was meant to document my experiences with EMDR, an emerging therapy used to treat PTSD. My EMDR treatment is on hold, but I continue to document my everyday experiences with depression and PTSD. I'm also a student in Social Welfare -- mental health is my life's work and I'm committed to helping others, particularly children, not go through much of the same pain I have endured throughout life.Aileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06501262354130485425noreply@blogger.comBlogger91100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13059396.post-1140993553678862742006-02-26T14:21:00.000-08:002006-03-05T14:16:58.583-08:00

Owwww. I have a horrible, ongoing sinus infection that is making me want to puke up elephants.Suffice it to say, I am somewhat depressed today. La di da! The weather here, all gray and clouds and lightless, doesn't help a bit, and combined with the sinus infection and piles of work to do, keeps that frown just where it is.Lately I have been thinking a lot about the last time I was happy.

Aileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06501262354130485425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13059396.post-1140899155078395092006-02-25T12:14:00.000-08:002006-02-25T13:57:50.683-08:00

After much hemming and hawing, I've picked up Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now. Of course, I've done so in my perpetual quest to figure out how one reaches happiness, not as a moment but as a plateau. I've only read a couple of pages. We'll see what I think when I'm done.It is interesting how difficult it is to broach the subject of mental illness on a personal level with our friends and family

Aileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06501262354130485425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13059396.post-1127859333297170482005-09-27T15:14:00.000-07:002006-02-25T10:43:22.876-08:00

This is what you get.This is what you get.Had another interview today. This time for a TA position, helping studentsWRITE, of all things. If there was anything that I could do while asleep, it'sthat. We'll see. I need a job.I can't believe the summer is over. And at the same time I'm glad it's over.I've always hated idle time, even as a kid. I hated hours of nothing structuredto do. I

Aileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06501262354130485425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13059396.post-1127766457957089692005-09-26T13:20:00.000-07:002005-09-26T13:27:37.970-07:00

The sun is shining and the weather is close to perfect here in Seattle. We start school (finally) on Wednesday, or at least I do with practicum downtown. I have a million and one projects going and a million and one ideas zooming in my head. And all I want to do, of course, is to just shut myself in my room and close my eyes and just wish everything were different. I walk around the house

Aileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06501262354130485425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13059396.post-1125004895661211992005-08-25T14:14:00.000-07:002005-08-25T14:21:35.670-07:00

I've spent the last month and a half switching to a new medication. I was on Effexor for 4 years and am now on Prozac, which I had been on before Effexor and during the early Effexor days. Is there a change? I hope. Prozac can take up to 7 weeks to take effect and the weaning off of Effexor can be quite painful. Luckily, Sharon (my psychiatrist) weaned me off slowly and I didn't experience a

Aileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06501262354130485425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13059396.post-1120966979409198412005-07-09T20:21:00.000-07:002005-07-09T20:42:59.416-07:00

Rainer Maria Rilke, in his Requiem for a Friend wrote the following:We need, in love, to practice only this:letting each other go. For holding oncomes easily; we do not need to learn it.I've read these words many many times and each time it comes to mean something very different. These words have comforted me through losses that have become too countless to remember. These words have taught me

Aileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06501262354130485425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13059396.post-1119037581833248502005-06-17T12:30:00.000-07:002005-06-17T12:57:23.460-07:00

About preparation: While my therapist was fairly throrough in prepping me with the ins and outs of EMDR, I'm not so sure if she adequately armed me tools to deal with the "aftermath" of a deluge of fairly bad, often painful memories. In essence, EMDR makes the past come present, not just momentarily, but rather opens a sort of "door" where thoughts, images and emotions from the past will continue

Aileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06501262354130485425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13059396.post-1118373250705232072005-06-09T20:01:00.000-07:002005-06-09T20:14:10.710-07:00

So tomorrow I go in for session 2. Whew...I'm actually glad to have a therapy session tomorrow. I've been feeling so utterly depressed lately and quite hopeless. Not sure where it is coming from, although I'm beginning to realize that maybe I'm just not in the right place. I thought moving from Los Angeles would solve so many problems, but things unfortunately don't change that easily. I

Aileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06501262354130485425noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13059396.post-1116713587905005112005-05-21T15:12:00.000-07:002005-05-23T16:01:59.570-07:00

I was actually pretty eager to start EMDR treatment with my therapist. She recommended it at our second or third session and after being in therapy for several years now, I'm pretty willing to try any new techniques to get at this nagging depression. I had never heard of EMDR before coming to therapy in Washington. It has something to do with the way our brain processes information and more

Aileenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06501262354130485425noreply@blogger.com1